New Moon Thoughts

It's the New Moon! With an eclipse too! Hurrah!

I am not even sure what that means but I am told it is vitally important, that I need to surrender, let it go, release all the things and stories that need releasing.

Get rid of the Old to make room for the New!

So there I am, getting rid of the old stories that I tell myself about any number of things: old patterns, old sagas, old adventures, old old old...

As I was busily doing all the cutting of ties, the burning of the papers, this morning, I suddenly paused and it hit me.

Who am I without my old stories?

It is all very well this releasing and letting go but if I let it all go, release everything, who exactly am I? What is left of me?

I felt like a balloon let loose in the sky, red it was, floating away into the horizon.

And that did not feel great at all.

So I beg to differ with my newsfeed, my Instagram messages and my email inbox. I will NOT get rid of the Old, this New Moon.

I am not even sure I can cope with anything new. Whatever is going on right now is enough for me to be dealing with, thank you very much.

I am made of my Old Stories, my Old Experiences of the world and they often guide me towards ways of coping that I know and trust. Without them, the learning of all the years I have spent in this incarnation would be lost, floating away like this balloon, unraveling like a badly knitted jumper.

I love my Old Stories, I am not letting them go.

OK, some of them need a bit of tweaking, their endings are no longer to my taste. We have moved on somewhat but you see, stories are very adaptable!

They are very much like memories. Do we ever really remember something clearly or do we create a story around it and that story changes through the years?

So this New Moon, I am going to honor the Old Stories, honor the darkness they sometimes bring and polish them, make them shine again, change their endings maybe or some of the details.

Like a precious piece of tarnished jewelry gently polished with a soft cloth, I shall make my life shine anew in the light of the growing moon.

I wonder what it would be like to mend the old instead of throwing it away, grabbing for the new? You know, in my childhood, they used to re-sole shoes! I know, choking isn't it? And yet, those old shoes were very sturdy and comfortable only with fresh, shiny new soles.

What story of yours could use a little polishing? Needs new soles? I would love to know.

Love,
Baya