Uncertainty?

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Dear Reader

Between 1968 and 1974, every March, when the rumbling started, my Dad would go down to the supermarket and return with boxes of tinned food.

As the news got grimmer and grimmer with potential war threats in Palestine, the East, or insurrection in France itself, my dad would unpack the boxes. There were special shelves in the garage. To this day, I cannot abide tinned ravioli...

We also had petrol stockpiled in the garage, so we could get away to my grandparents in the country if needed.


Many of my friends who live across The Pond are saying  "I expect all this uncertainty is really tough for you over in Europe".


And, you know what?

I have checked in.

NO UNCERTAINTY

NOT

A SINGLE OUNCE


What? Uncertainty, my constant companion of the past two years, where have you gone?

So, you know what I am like, I got tapping.

Tapping on "where is the uncertainty now? What is going on here? Am I delusional?" All the things.

I tapped on "War in Europe" no uncertainty there,

I tapped on "Invasion", "World War 3" nothing either.

 

I got to thinking back to the past two years and realized something.


Don't get me wrong here, I am not carefree or light-hearted about the war in Europe, of course, I am not, and I am scared of what is unfolding, BUT

I am not feeling uncertain about how I am going to handle this.

Because

Re-read the first paragraph of this blog! I have been training for this for the past... well since I was born, in 1956, as the Hungarian Revolution failed and through all the different conflicts... and I know how I am going to handle it. In my memory banks, there is information that I can access to help me deal with the situation.

Maybe not with buying tinned Ravioli but you bet that my wood store is full, the oil tank has been topped up and the coal has just been delivered. 

In March 2020

When I was told I was not allowed to leave my house unless I went shopping for food, once a week, I had no point of reference at all. I had absolutely no idea how to handle this. In fact, no one knew how to handle it.

That is when I learnt the meaning and the feeling of uncertainty.

It was terrible and I hated it. But now, I am sure that, if there is another pandemic, I shall know how to cope with it. My memory will have a frame of reference. 

And so will all the generations following me, because my Dad was doing what his Dad had done in 1939, and on it goes.

So, what am I saying here? 

I believe that, because I know how to behave and what to expect, I am able to hope... to make choices about my actions.

I am also able to imagine several scenarios... different potential futures... and work towards them.

Because I have been on the fringe of wars, under the threat of them, I know how they behave, what to do, and can hold on to hope. There is comfort in that to help me navigate the next few months.

I don't feel uncertain or indeed frightened or anxious. Yes, it is grim, but my brain is clear and can figure out how to hope.


And, as I prepare to join the worldwide Intention Experiment praying for Peace in Ukraine and for sanity to return, I am feeling pretty certain that I know how to handle this.

And that you, probably, know how to do it too.

With love

Baya


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